• It's the stoner's ultimate birthday present...

• You can almost smell the pigskin through the phone.

• No officer, I don't know how fast I was going. My jet pack didn't come with a speedometer.

• I know what my fiance is getting at her bachelorette party...my balls.

• Espionage pedophilia? The things technology has brought us...

• Vibrations and black light? Sounds like my kind of device...

• The iMaxi. It comes in red. I think I just vomited a little in my mouth.

• TV, Internet, MP3 player... can it pop open a cold beer and make me a sandwich?

• Does picking up your dog's crap suck? Well, now you can suck up your dog's crap. Check it out...

• Phone or computer? Guess we'll find out soon enough...

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